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Thread #: 1721

"Bored of the rings"

OscarWilde

Fri Apr 26 14:44:24 2002

I passed by the bookstore and had a sudden book craving, like i was going to die if I didn't touch a book or something really odd. Anyway, i entered and could smell the new books, the paper, the ink, the smell that makes the imagintation salivate as if it were trapped in a cell and denied food for ages uncountable.

Again, i stress that its unusual i have this strong a surge of emotions from books alone. I suppose right now the way my life is going, and my lack of interest in TV, books provide a form of escape i desperatly seek to deny the mundane that is my life.

Regardless, i shall move on with a discovery i had made.

I went straight for the sci-fi fantasy books, hoping to find the last installment of the Dragonlace series inspite of the fact that none of the books seem to be available in any HK bookstore. Nope, nothing had changed in HK, still no DragonLance books. So I decided to see if Michael Chricton had any new books published. I've read almost all his books and although they are all the same: formulated and mediocore, I was in the mood to read just such a book.

Nope, Mr. Crichton had no books. I saw a bunch of Dean Koontz books, but i haven't even finished the only book of his I had bought. Steven King? Ummmm, a few words: boring as fuck, a few more words: waste of my fucking time.

So I headed towards the top ten best sellers and saw that LOTR was still apparently pretty hot. They had a series of books that JRR Tolkien had written, the one that piqued my interest was 'The Silmarillon'. So on an impulse I decided to buy the book. I approached the sales clerk and asked for a new copy as the current copy on display looked a tad worn out. Service as it is for American franchises means that the people are always willing to please rather then telling you to fuck off if you suggest anything that requires a sense of deceny or plain simple courtesy. Sort of like the british service industry, or so i have been told.

Well as i was waiting to get a fresh copy of the book which later I would begin to consume like a vagabond starved for a few weeks, I noticed the saleclerk return to the sci-fi fantasy section while holding the book he was to replaced. I had not noticed earlier that the LOTR books were kept there too. Hmmmm...

So I decided to go take a better look incase i missed anything else seeing I missed the LOTR series in the first place.

This is where the discovery comes in, the one if you actually had the patience to read through my mumblings will finally be rewarded.

There was a tiny green book titiled, 'Bored of the Ring' right next to the LOTR series. Wha? So I picked up the book and started to skim through it to get a sense of the story and idea behind it. Sure enough it was almost like what Jeremy had started in a thread he created a few weeks ago. The chapter titles showed a complete utter disrespect towards the original book that it was based on, such is the case of a parody.

Anyway, as I was in a rush I asked for a pen and paper to write the details of the book for you out there to look for, buy, and read, and soon after post a review or description of the book for us all to giggle at.

So here it is:

"Bored of the rings"
by Henry N. Beard & Douglas C. Kenney
of Havard Lampoons

So go and get it and report back ASAP!

(Edited by OscarWilde at 10:49 pm on April 26, 2002)

OscarWilde

Fri Apr 26 14:52:58 2002

a link about the book:

http://www.ringsoft.demon.co.uk/books/titles/bored.htm

OscarWilde

Fri Apr 26 14:57:26 2002

more links for you fucking bastards: well this one takes you to amazon where you can buy the book. So no whiney bitchy, "well i can't find the book so i'm going to lock my self in the bathroom and masturbate till i'm happy" bullshit!

[url=http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0575073624/qid=1019832848/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_3_1/026-4164885-3807651]Buy the damn book you bastard![/url]

:cheesy:

This link also takes you to some reviews so read em boys.

(Edited by OscarWilde at 10:58 pm on April 26, 2002)

Evil Merlin

Fri Apr 26 15:32:47 2002

Are you post whoring or just that bored?
Harbinger

Fri Apr 26 15:34:54 2002

Erm... where you been?  That book's like, old, and stuff. ;)
Jeremy Reimer

Fri Apr 26 17:55:19 2002

I knew about the existence of this book, but I've never seen it.  If I ever do, I'm buying it.
OscarWilde

Sat Apr 27 03:22:51 2002

from Evil Merlin posted at 8:32 am on April 26, 2002

Are you post whoring or just that bored?

To not post whore would be to go against my nature.

AllYorBaseRBelong2Us

Sat Apr 27 03:24:46 2002

It would indeed.

Interestingly enough, I just had a friend of mine, an English PHD and Fantasy affuendo stop by and discuss the LOTR Movie versus the Book.  He brought up a lot of good points

OscarWilde

Sat Apr 27 03:25:12 2002

from Harbinger posted at 11:34 pm on April 26, 2002

Erm... where you been?  That book's like, old, and stuff. ;)

Well living under a rock tends to make one oblivious to such knowledge to the existence of the book, but yeah, it apparently is quite an old book and IIRC it was written before I was even born. :eek:

;)

OscarWilde

Sat Apr 27 03:27:52 2002

from Jeremy Reimer posted at 1:55 am on April 27, 2002

I knew about the existence of this book, but I've never seen it.  If I ever do, I'm buying it.

Did you not see the amazon link i provided? Go get the book!!!

I would buy it and send it to you but I don't know how much mailing a book to canada would be, if it is cheap i might do it, and yes for free. Then again i'd also have to ask for your address and i'm not sure if you'd be prepared to give you address to a loony nut like me.

:cheesy:

Again i remind you that the only thing stopping you from getting the book right now is a credit card and a mouse click on the link i provided.

longmarch

Sat Jul 27 04:56:12 2002

Wish I'd seen this a month ago.  I own a copy of this book, but I couldn't find it when I read this just now, meaning it must have gone to storage in the last few weeks.  When next I dig through my stored books (probably in the spring), I'll mail it to whomever wants it.

Except for the Tom Benzedrino part, it's really not all that funny.