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Jeremy Reimer

Posts: 9343

Posted on: 2013-11-12 10:22:24.000

It’s time to get down and dirty with plot outlining! In this episode, we take the outline we made for the first episode of the serial To the Moon and pick it apart scene by scene, finding flaws and discovering deeper character motivations.








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Notes from the show:

Here's the outline we started with:

1. Rich brings coffee to his co-workers at his company, Judd tells him he should be coding and let the secretary get the coffee
2. Rich goes out to dinner with his ‘friend with benefits’ (let’s call her Melissa) talks about work and his dreams
3. Rich talks to Judd about doing a Kickstarter for Lunar X-Prize, Judd has to be convinced
4. Rich sets up the Kickstarter
5. Waiting for the Kickstarter to see if it succeeds
6. Success, and now panic, how are they going to do this?
7. Rich tries to find a launch platform
8. Judd phones him up saying he has a platform
9. Rich finds out that Judd has defected to a rival X-Prize group
10. Rich decides to launch his own anyway, without Judd’s help
11. Rich finds a former Russian weapon launcher that will work for cheap
12. Both Rich and Judd’s efforts launch and land on the moon
13. Judd’s works, Rich’s robot appears to not work, but when he is packing everything up he finds a signal

This is the outline that we ended up with:

1. Rich brings coffee to his co-workers at his company, 7 people Judd tells him he should be coding and let the secretary get the coffee robotics some military rich egg prototype
2. Rich goes out to dinner with his ‘friend with benefits’ (let’s call her Melissa (Mel) talks about work and his dreams
3. Rich talks to Judd about doing a Kickstarter for Lunar X-Prize, Judd has to be convinced
4. Rich sets up the Kickstarter leave no stone unturned"
5. Waiting for the Kickstarter to see if it succeeds
6. Success, and now panic, how are they going to do this? Judd calm Rich worries
7. Rich tries to find a launch platform
8. Judd phones him up saying he has a platform
9. family connection gets launch platform for Judd, then rival team contacts him and makes him an offer, fame fortune, attractive girl etc.
10. Rich finds out that Judd has defected to a rival X-Prize group he’s devastated they talk
11. Rich goes out with Mel, talk, Mel says Rich decides to launch his own anyway, without Judd’s help Bouncy Ball
12. Rich finds a former Russian weapon launcher that will work for cheap they make jokes he thinks oh no Russian mob but not really.
13. Hard date for launch, urgently phone call Judd saying I’m sorry but I’m a winner , Rich lame comeback is that if Rich fails then Rich company fails and Judd’s shares are worthless.
14. Both Rich and Judd’s efforts launch and land on the moon
15. Judd’s works, Rich’s robot appears to not work, but when he is packing everything up he finds a signal but came in second.