Sun Mar 31 20:23:39 2002
However I finaly decided that i need to get a website up and running and then start hosting my work. After finally deciding on a name for the site I noticed my desire to write has been reborn. I feel more like I was a few years ago, "a writer who observes life and then recreates it upon a canvas if only to be observed by others." In other words, I have momentarilly forgotten the rush I get from writing. I do indeed love to write, not idle posts sit dead on forums, but works that are life upon them selves like poems, short stories and plays.
Maybe I will make true what my professor onces wrote to me, "you are a phenomenal writer and will one day be great."
I think part of the reason that led to my eventual lethargy in writing was the expectations in me that my professors had. Almost all my professors, especially the ones that taught english lit., would always pull me aside after class and tell me that i was a very talented and gifted writer. I had experienced this during highschool as well but I never considered my highschool teacher's words because at the time I felt that I was beneath any possible gift. I became what kafka wrote in 'The Metamorphises', a child who experienced the worse that human nature could dish out and thus slowly came to believe his ill fate was the cause of his nature, that of a insect whos only purpose was to be stepped on by others.
I had a horrible horrible highschool experience. I still have very bitter resentment towards the institution that I have delgated to the darkest shadows of my memory. So it is I felt then that I only wrote and played the guitar as a form of escape.
That is besides the point which is I have had to deal with why I write and the expectations of my professors and teachers who believed in me so much when my peers went out of their way to mock and humilate me (well i highschool at least).
The point is that I let my butchered self esteem become a wall towards anything good coming into my life. I have grown whilst the wall has decayed and now the sun shines in where I see what those who have seen the best are finally talking about.
However I got too euphoric from the sudden self awarness. Though the wall has fallen its foundation in the deep corners of my mind still remain like echoes that still haunt me. I fell hard. I had a partial mental breakdown. Tried to kill my self twice in the confusion that became my day to day wear.
I dropped out of college inspite of being on my way to getting two majors and a minor completed.
However the wall remains fallen, the foundations still haunt but the echoes are my broken beasts that I can control, and the sun still shines and I remain euphoric yet sober.
I feel like I am in a good place now in my life. I don't take medications for my manic depression so I do have to deal with my violent swings however experiences can be whip that guides the wild nature of the horse and this whip i carry with me.
Its 4:20 in the morning. I am not sure what I am writing, but since the idea of hosting my work was born in the last 48 hours I am excitied about the prospect of not only getting my work on line but also start writing again.
I will inform you guys when my site is up wether or not it has any significance in your life is of no importance to me.
I shall soon head to bed.
Sun Mar 31 21:33:11 2002
does anyone care!?
Sun Mar 31 21:59:12 2002
As soon as you are done putting up the site, post a link.
What kind of stuffs do you plan on writing?
:)
Sun Mar 31 22:43:56 2002
It might be fun to be able to tell my folks/friends that I have a pal who is an author.
m.
Tue Apr 2 04:36:23 2002
from DrPizza posted at 1:33 pm on Mar. 31, 2002does anyone care!?
No.
:tongue:
Tue Apr 2 04:42:01 2002
from AllYorBaseRBelong2Us posted at 4:59 am on April 1, 2002
AYB cares.As soon as you are done putting up the site, post a link.
What kind of stuffs do you plan on writing?
:)
Well i'll post you a link during my pre-website-production. That way you can give me your stinky opinions which I may or may not consider. :biggrin: As for the content of my work, well you are going to have to read my work to find out. ;)
Tue Apr 2 04:54:03 2002
from Madan posted at 5:43 am on April 1, 2002
Madan cares too.It might be fun to be able to tell my folks/friends that I have a pal who is an author.
m.
Well there are two of us you can refer to. Me and Jeremy. His work is more fantastical where as mine tends is almost a complete opposite, although I did have a story line written out after "Dragons of Summer Flame" at the time had ended the legacy of the Dragon's book. Fast forward a few years later and it seems that Wies and Hickman had their own ideas which interestingly were similar to what I had in mind, granted there is only so many ways you could further extend the story after getting rid of the magic (and gods) and most of the characters. The one thing that is almost exact between what I started writing out and what I read in the two books of the current volume is Palin's search for magic (as he could not live without it) and the wild magic that existed. Again as I said above, there is only so many ways to further extent the story logically without going back and creating to many contradictions. I never expected the gods to return, and certainly not Tahksis(sp?) but it seems logical in retrospect. Otherwise where would the rational be behind the conflict? From your initial thread about the first book that made me aware that Wies and Hickman even wrote a new one, I assumed that Raistlain was the mover off all things which would be a nice twist since he always seemed so power hungry even though he seemed to have grown a heart in the end of the 'Twin's' volume.
On a side note, i can't wait for the last book to come out!!! I want to know who the guy on the boat is right at the end of the second book! I'm guessing it will be Paladin to stop his sister from being such a freaking bitch as she always seems to be. :cheesy:
Tue Apr 2 16:55:45 2002
from Madan posted at 2:43 pm on Mar. 31, 2002
Madan cares too.It might be fun to be able to tell my folks/friends that I have a pal who is an author.
(no, printing your name on your printer and then look at it doesn't count)
Tue Apr 2 20:49:33 2002
I'll give them a read.
M.
Tue Apr 2 20:50:02 2002
I'll give them a read.
M.
Tue Apr 2 23:47:01 2002
I think you'll have *some* problems in locating some of those :)
Wed Apr 3 02:32:49 2002
(no, printing your name on your printer and then look at it doesn't count)
Wed Apr 3 03:37:44 2002
from DrPizza posted at 6:32 pm on April 2, 2002(no, printing your name on your printer and then look at it doesn't count)
That's where you're wrong.
Still problems with RQE, eh?
:)
Wed Apr 3 08:00:57 2002
from DrPizza posted at 10:33 pm on Mar. 31, 2002does anyone care!?
No.
I copy that notion.
Wed Apr 3 08:14:05 2002
Also I've tried on occasion to write a novel, but on that notion I have failed spectacularly.
Wed Apr 3 11:35:19 2002
Wed Apr 3 14:26:41 2002
A bit sparse, but you're probably busy, huh?
Still, it's nice. URL's a bit narcisistic don'tchathink? :)
m.
Wed Apr 3 15:31:46 2002
from Madan posted at 6:26 am on April 3, 2002
Cool site Paolo.A bit sparse, but you're probably busy, huh?
Still, it's nice. URL's a bit narcisistic don'tchathink? :)
:)