MagusWed Jan 2 22:52:47 2002
/* Ok, time for a story. Add a line or two, and try not to double post. */
Once there was a man....
Robocop Q EinsteinWed Jan 2 23:15:47 2002
... who lived with his mother...
Imitation GruelWed Jan 2 23:15:54 2002
who discovered one day he had the ability to fly. So he flew...
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsWed Jan 2 23:23:54 2002
...his sopwith camel against the Red Baron naked while stroking his long....
(Edited by AllYorBaseRBelong2Us at 5:26 pm on Jan. 2, 2002)
MagusWed Jan 2 23:51:18 2002
joystick. He soared through the clouds, when suddenly...
OscarWildeThu Jan 3 01:45:47 2002
... The Blue Baron appeared to his left and the Indigo Baron appeared to his right which made him wonder if Steve Jobs had anything to do with the Barons...
(Edited by OscarWilde at 8:46 am on Jan. 3, 2002)
MagusThu Jan 3 15:40:44 2002
So, to escape, he parachuted to the ground below, and found himself in the land of...
Imitation GruelThu Jan 3 15:44:32 2002
[url=http://www.appleinsider.com]Apple Insider[/url] on January 6, 2002; and they DID ask him if he had any juicy secrets; and they DID ask him if he was willing to break his NDA's; but he said he didn't work for Apple; and they DID cast him out like the fucking scumsucking leech he was...
MagusThu Jan 3 16:05:28 2002
so he wandered off to the city....
OscarWildeThu Jan 3 16:10:02 2002
where it seemed strangely silent and the lack of people on the streets did little to calm his nerves...
HitScanThu Jan 3 16:13:46 2002
When suddenly the silence was broken by screams of "Godzira! AAAAAAHHHH" and he then began to run away
at a medium pace...
[size=1]Had to put a little Adam Sandler reference in there. Not one of his better songs, but funny nonetheless.[/size]
RisoThu Jan 3 16:22:46 2002
..screaming and crying like a little faggot..
OscarWildeThu Jan 3 16:25:31 2002
when it occured to him that he was Riso and Riso is not a crying little faggot so instead Riso now slowed down and then huddled behind a dumpster whilst praying that the piss in his pants would dry of soon...
RisoThu Jan 3 16:35:04 2002
..but then he woke up and thought "Wow, what a crackinduced nightmare".
MagusThu Jan 3 17:11:43 2002
So, to relieve frustration from the nightmare, he calmly buckled on his sword and headed out....
RisoThu Jan 3 17:17:35 2002
..to chop off the thread creator's head
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsThu Jan 3 19:18:39 2002
...but instead went to the town on his noble stead to partake of the pleasures of the wenches of a particular tavern which he adored. He found these wenches particularily alluring as they had very large....
MagusThu Jan 3 19:20:57 2002
boobs. While he was guzzling down ale, with a wench on his lap, the door burst open....
RisoThu Jan 3 19:46:44 2002
..revealing a very horny PetwarB looking for a victim to sodomize...
MagusThu Jan 3 22:36:02 2002
but fortunately for the guys in the room, Gail Porter was there, so they were safe. Deciding he was tired of drinking, Riso...
RisoThu Jan 3 23:06:26 2002
stood up, walked out of the bar,grabbed the next pretty 15 year old girl, ran with the screaming little fuck to a quiet place where he..
OscarWildeFri Jan 4 00:13:19 2002
told her a weeping story of...
MagusFri Jan 4 15:23:09 2002
his crack habit, and the dreams they caused. She stared at him and then, in a flash of light, she...
RisoFri Jan 4 16:06:18 2002
..undressed and started to have wild and forbidden sex with the poor Riso who's out of crack again.
MagusFri Jan 4 17:35:35 2002
Fortunately for Riso, OW happened by and offered him some crack, and asked him...
RisoFri Jan 4 17:42:37 2002
..to join in, and Riso, beeing on crack agreed with the warning "Put your dick the wrong way and I use my sword to chop it off"..
OscarWildeFri Jan 4 20:28:17 2002
OW being high on crack misunderstands and takes his sword out and chops riso's head off and the naked girl in shock runs off...
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsFri Jan 4 20:41:08 2002
...and then she jumps on top of AYB the Rough and Ready and enjoys the time of her life and forgets about the horrific scene where Riso met his end at the point of the Sword of the Poopy One. And OW gets some women to, as does IG and all knights of OSY. Just then the evil, dastardly.....
MagusFri Jan 4 20:54:34 2002
APK appears. Since OW is still high, he screams like a little girl, and hides behind IG, who...
(Edited by Magus at 5:13 pm on Jan. 4, 2002)
DuffManFri Jan 4 22:30:33 2002
Takes a moment to ponder how fucked up this particular situation has become. The he whips out his...
MagusFri Jan 4 23:19:09 2002
big ten inch...
record of a band that plays the blues, and proceeds to...
Imitation GruelSat Jan 5 00:01:12 2002
APK appears. Since OW is still high, he screams like a little girl, and hides behind IG, who...
...scares APK into wetting his pants with the fire-tipped gladius I recieved for being a Centurion. I then stabbed him through the heart. However...
OscarWildeSat Jan 5 01:28:46 2002
...Riso rises from the dead by some weird magic called BS and being rather pissed that OW chopped of his head and now having to live the rest of his life as the headless zombie he...
DuffManSat Jan 5 02:02:00 2002
Gets a job working for apple, where he designs the...
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsSat Jan 5 02:37:07 2002
Diesel powered Nun. He can't figure out which colours would be the most alluring so he hired Hitscan to......
OscarWildeSat Jan 5 03:00:39 2002
...run around in bondi colored with ruby polkadots ballerina skirt as a source of inspiration but...
Robocop Q EinsteinSat Jan 5 05:35:50 2002
instead decided on the color of Nyquil, because after all, two doses in a row couldn't kill a man (right?), at least no more than...
Imitation GruelSat Jan 5 06:23:23 2002
six doses of codeine could kill a 5-ton African male elephant. It would do nothing at all.
When Steve Jobs decides Flower Power is the right color for the diesel-powered nun, he debuts it at MacWorld, where...
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsSat Jan 5 07:36:41 2002
He shows that it can run Photoshop faster than a ferarri by virtue of it's snow-white OscarWilde like virginity despite the fact that it has no....
Imitation GruelSat Jan 5 10:18:00 2002
documentation whatsoever on software or hardware profiles of either device, or the test itself. The Apple unit slaughters the "competition" predictably and the Macolytes...
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsSat Jan 5 10:31:02 2002
..Happily rejoice and run around the Battlefront like children run around the house with their new christmas toys whereby the Masta' of all that is Sucktacula' pulls up his sleeves, pulls himself up to his keyboard and proceeds to....
Imitation GruelSat Jan 5 11:03:15 2002
slash and burn them and their platform all in a hilarious and thorough fashion, much like his teachers who have done before. It shall be great, on that glorious day when Apple dies forever, as I shall laugh heartily, and...
RisoSat Jan 5 15:30:44 2002
..damn Riso for making big $$$ out of designing the dieselpowered nun..
MagusMon Jan 7 16:00:26 2002
assuming Jobs pays him for the idea, instead of flat out stealing it. In the meantime, a little Scandinavian fanatic with a penchant for sodomizing penguins notices the success of the diesel-powered nun...
OscarWildeTue Jan 8 02:14:38 2002
and rides on the success by introducing the new iLamp to which...
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsTue Jan 8 02:23:09 2002
isn't nearly as cool as AYB's diesel powered nun, but 'nun'-the-less it has the capacity to......
MagusTue Jan 8 15:18:33 2002
use the time-honored Photoshop test. In the meantime, Hitscan, last seen in a ballerina skirt, begins to....
HitScanWed Jan 9 01:56:00 2002
Slip into some damn pants, because those ballarena clothes are too damn drafty. Also, here's hoping no one was looking at his ass, eh?
And in the distance HitScan heard...
Imitation GruelWed Jan 9 01:58:32 2002
the laughter of IG, as he realizes he was vindicated in his belief that all of Apple's hype was complete shit. It was a glorious laugh, very loud and raucous.
But the Macolytes were crying, because...
OscarWildeWed Jan 9 02:06:38 2002
they quite enjoyed looking at hitscan's ass in that ballerina skirt, oops did i say that to loud?. So anyways...
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsWed Jan 9 04:38:37 2002
..AYB had gotten a friggin headache from reading some of the most inane series posts in in Ars that he's seen in a while. Therefore he....
RisoFri Jan 11 12:11:24 2002
..fell victim of the same terrible disease Riso has been infected with since thursday.
MagusFri Jan 11 16:28:09 2002
So the two ailing OSY knights decided their only hope was to....
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsFri Jan 11 22:25:47 2002
..Think about stuff. AYB the Insightfull lent his emmense brain power to pondering how wonderfull it would be to walk on the beach with Katie and coming up with Paul Hill-like witicisms to make her giggle like Oscar Wilde does whenever he hears a dirty joke. Then he shall put his hand around her as her head lowers and she shows her bedroom eyes and caresses the mighty and firm torso of AYB the studly. She shall embrace AYB the Sensitive Male of the 90's and shall hold him for hours on end while AYB the Aloof forgets his worries.
Riso on the other hand starts thinking about....
RisoSat Jan 12 12:47:56 2002
..fucking Katie's brains out and then throwing her away like a used condom..
AllYorBaseRBelong2UsSat Jan 12 21:01:07 2002
..Except AYB the Extra-Planar Being of Power stops Riso from defiling the most sacred vessel of lovelyness by casting him into the lowest level of the Nine Hells of Cupertino where he and Steve Jobs ......
RisoSat Jan 12 22:05:25 2002
..discuss the next upgrade to the dieselpowered nun: the dieselpowered nun mk2!..
MagusMon Jan 14 19:00:32 2002
It is then that the unholy Jobs offers Riso one of the Nine Rings of Men....